I Won't Go Back to the 80's. Can't Make Me.

Am I the only who notices that we are in the throes of the worst fashion period ever? I can’t even be comforted by the blinders I had on in the 80’s here. This time, I am painfully aware of what is actually happening.

We are all wearing 70’s style maternity wear. And, hellooo, we are not all pregnant!

Am I the only one who sees this?

Not that I don’t enjoy having the maternity style that covers my years-later-after-birth-stomach but come on. I haven’t lost all of my senses.

How is a pregnant person supposed to feel special among all of us non-pregos sporting lava lamp print maternity-wear as fashion?

Really? Am I the only one?

If I am I will accept it but come on! Really?

O.K. then, I’m off to Pea in the Pod to shop for a shirt to wear out tonight.

Would anyone notice the difference?

Something Stinks!

My cat just pee’d

And I’m reminded of the horrible stink that can come from a really bad attitude.

Now nobody is charming 24/7 but have you ever come across people that are perpetually negative. A person that if you handed them a gift of $100,000 they would complain about the taxes they would have to pay because of it?

I had recently hired someone who had me completely fooled. I will admit that my spidy senses might blow a fuse now and then but it still burns me when it happens!

Maybe this guy took acting lessons prior to the interview. I don’t know. But he positively radiated intelligence, charm and a sunny disposition. NO negativity vibe sightings whatsoever!

I was practically tripping over my feet to get him in the door. My mind closed off every other applicant that I had lined up for this position and mentally filled it with him.

I didn’t go totally crazy. I did check his references and everyone that I spoke to collaborated and confirmed previous work history and salary. Couldn’t have him fingerprinted so I guess that was that. Right. Enough for me!

UHHHGGGGGG!!!!!

Now it could have worked out (and has many times prior to him) but who could have predicted the three day crap storm that would ensue from his first day on the job.

Arguments with top management.

Confrontations with customers.

Parking space ultimatums (I am not even kidding)

Threats sandwiched between prickly innuendos

Topped off with lateness, laziness and lying

OMG! SAVE ME!

How could one person turn out to be so bad??? How did this ugly vision of his employment future ever get past me?

Perhaps I should have suspected an unhappy ending when on the very first day I asked

‘So how is it going so far?’

And he responded

‘Well there are so many things that have to be changed around here that I don’t know where I should start’.

I swear! On his very first day. Not three hours into his shift.

It had to be vampires.

I am not usually rendered speechless but I have never in my villion years as a professional person would have expected that or any of the other never-do-this-at-a-new- job-stuff coming from a brand new employee.

Turns out he had also been recently arrested for assaulting a 70 year old man!

I should just hand in my resignation now.

Needless to say, the 90 day probationary period came to a screeching halt. Leaving the wretched smell of burning rubber behind him.

His replacement has thankfully restored my faith in humanity (and my judgment) although I am a little bit more cautious of the overly perfect these days.

Sometimes a little bit of cat pee is a good thing. (-:

Grandmasunderwear.com

What you need to know before the interview

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What do I do now???

Some of the best advice can be birthed from the; what if it were me perspective.

How else can you spew advice if you would not be willing to take it yourself?

So that started me thinking about what course of action that, should I ever leave my HR position-either by force or free will, would initiate my job search.

Online job sites…definitely. (My fav btw is job-hunt.org….it has everything you could possibly want and more), real life paper newspaper (haven’t picked up one of those in a good while…nothing but bad news and unnecessary celebrity sightings) or social networks like, Twitter, Facebook and Linkedin…uh duh…yeah.

All of the above are key job hunt avenues, but I would have to say that my very first stop would be the friendship and family hotline (especially my working ones). Might even do a bulk email to all of them….

Subject line: Now Unemployed and Looking

Body: Shocked….uh yeah me too. First one to get me a job wins dinner for two at the restaurant of your choice! (and one of those two people had better be me)

Resume attached – pass it on! Think of it as a chain letter. Must forward this resume to at least three people or bad luck will follow! (or I will call you and harass you until your hair turns gray).

Not afraid. That’s what friends are for!

I can honestly say that the latter would win my #1 where to start spot.

Turning unemployment into a fun and create friendly challenge might be just the thing to get the ball rolling at first (before it gets too desperate to be funny any longer).

Then by all that’s holy, I would check out every ad via every media under the sun and promote myself via resume and cover letter until my keyboard screams for mercy!

Use every tool in your arsenal -including your friends…they could very well be your biggest guns!

Grandmasunderwear.com

What you need to know before the interview

Me Too!

The two most comforting words in the world are….

“Me Too”

I love that show
‘OMG, me too!’

No matter what I try, I can’t shake these extra 10 lbs.
‘I know what you mean, me too!’

I have been trying to get a job forever and still nothing!
’Yeah, me too.’

The Me Too comfort blanket warms us and lets us know that we are not alone.

Nobody wants to be hanging out there by themselves.

You can find some pretty cool Me Too online networking venues for just about anything these days. And it has become extremely effortless to get caught up in the whirl of our social networking mega season.

I can only aspire to keep up.

Truly.

Being faithful to more than one site at a time can sometimes give me a headache. I am married to my husband, grandmasunderwear.com and Twitter of course but I also fool around with Facebook and MySpace on the side. Big Love computer style.

Makes me feel a bit trampish at times.

Blogging out ones feelings and firing off witty retorts can be exhausting. But I do recognize the value and allure that keeps us logging on for more. It is often why the left side of my brain has to mentally force my right hand to reluctantly turn off the computer some days. But when was communication ever this much fun and a cathartic?

We all want to communicate and hook up with others like us. But there is so much competitive activity out there that sometimes, I find that the smaller more quietly popular socializing networks can be just what the doctor ordered.

So, if you were in need of some trampy non-employment online social counseling…. might I recommend some smaller but choice orbiting social spheres? Such as BrightFuse, Layoffmoveon, Frugalvillage or ExperienceProject just to name a few.

These are some of the homey online social network getaways that have an extremely tangible profile to profile feel. It’s kind of like unconsciously breaking off into a favorite group of friends at a large gathering.

The lure is just as powerful.

The soothing comfort of Me Too’s are extra potent within more intimate groups where as the power can quickly dilutes amidst the vortex of the galactic social sites.

Recognize what your needs are and which sites will better yield those results. Don’t give up on networking online or otherwise. If you are feeling a bit outnumbered or overwhelmed at the online social networking game- try sampling some other networks for a while.

You know… it’s not you it’s me.

Keep surfing until you find a home (or several if you’re a true online professional).

Choose your venues (as you would choose your people) carefully and strategically. It will only serve you better in the long run.

We can all benefit from a little well placed keyboard therapy now and then.

Grandmasunderwear.com
What you need to know BEFORE the interview